I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
