I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
