The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
