I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
