cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
