WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
