Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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