So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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