Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm too high and old for this...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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