I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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