I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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