I seem to have left my pride at pride
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
