i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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