I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Drunk is not a location!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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