Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
i believe in u and ur pee
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
