dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
