I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You need a sexual gate keeper
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
