It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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