five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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