If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
as a side note pls kill me
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