More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
the liver wants what the liver wants
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
