Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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