I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
