Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
