It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
