just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
