All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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