There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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