Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You may now shotgun with the bride
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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