K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
