I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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