i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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