Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
