i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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