I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
you inspire me to be a worse person
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
