HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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