turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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