She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
