dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
