If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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