it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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