i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
