Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
My ATM looks so different sober.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
