Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
