Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
