please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
