I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize
