tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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