I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
