I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
