Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
