And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
