Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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