I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
