All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
