sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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