Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
