I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
