hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
