I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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